Me, Myself and I

      A new year, new me, right?? I like to have 'themes' for each year. It helps me stay focused and stay on track with my goals and be able to dig deeper in a more meaningful way. I have dedicated this year to ME. The theme isn't so I can be selfish or self centered, it is so I can focus on my strengths and weaknesses, hobbies, try new things, and just all around improve myself.  For me, this is a scary thing to do, it means I have to accept things about myself and face them instead of ignoring them and not grow and improve where I should.

     Last year beat me down pretty hard. I experienced a handful of things I had always feared of having to experience.  I felt heart-wrenching hurt, the deepest loss, and the most fear... but I accomplished something big- overcoming it all.  There were so many moments of thinking "I am not going to make it through this." "This is never going to go away." and the feeling of deserving this pain and hurt.  My heart hurt, my brain wanted to quit, and my body was beaten down, but I DID come out on top, I DID make it through. It took faith, prayers, scripture study, tears, and many many hugs and snuggles, but I made it! I learned that it's not that I was deserving of such struggle, but that I went through that because I needed to learn what I do deserve, that I deserve so much more than what I thought I did.  I experienced those trials because my Heavenly Father knew I could endure them, He knew that it would help me grow in ways I couldn't have without them.

    I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father who comforted me through His gospel and through the hands of his children because I know that without Him I wouldn't be where I am today.  I wouldn't feel the joy and happiness of this life He has given me!! And I know that is what He wants!!! As crazy as it sounds, I am grateful for my trials! They have pushed me, tested me, and in the end, have lifted me up to be happier and more full of gratitude and love! I promise and KNOW the rainbow really does exist after all the rain, it just takes patience and trust that everything is for the best!

     I climbed my mountain last year, and it was great! It was one of the hardest years I have had to live, but it was also the year I learned the most!! This world spins so fast that I don't want to miss anything! I don't want to be so caught up in my hard times that I miss the beauty of this good world!!  It is a fantastic place to be and to explore!! So this year, it's going to me, myself, and I... exploring this lovely, amazing planet that has been created for us!! I am going to challenge myself and go places I've wanted to go, love those who need to be loved, and say the things that are sometimes hard to say!! Because when the time comes where I have to say goodbye to this life, I want to smile and have zero regrets! So I am going improve my weaknesses and use my strengths to grow and learn more things this year about myself and the world and people around me and I couldn't be more excited about it!

       H  e  r  e     i  s     t  o     A  d  v  e  n  t  u  r  e  !  !

Happy Exploring (: